Bern Stuff
Bernie n. (slang) the sum of one million pounds
There are more of me than you think. Trust me, 'Bernard' will once again come back into fashion, despite being associated with sad, second-raters such Bernard Manning, Bernie Winters, Bernie Eccleston and Bernard Cribbins (well, maybe not the F1 geezer). Meanwhile here are the pitiful results of my lifelong search for a worthwhile Bernard Allen...
Let's Rock...Fantastic news! There's a band called Bernard based in Surrey. With no trace of irony, they have a hilarious Bernard forum and even sell Bernard t-shirts. Their influences are everything from Nine Inch Nails to Shirley Bassey...Visit Bernard's My Space page and get ready to rock! |
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Bern's PlacesFirst up is my antique shop in Wells. Please don't take any notice of the bloke reading his paper in the window, he's not really the owner or anything, it's all mine, honestly...Bern's Music used to be big in Chichester, but before I could be arsed to take a picture, it was bought and is now Shakatak's or something equally dreary, at the end of West Street. Nonetheless this shed selling drums and stuff is still proudly displaying the Bern's Music brand on St James's industrial estate. Phew!Why not drop into my farm at Cite de l'Europe in Calais? Stock up with booze and then sit down to a disgusting meal - it's my pleasure.Now here's classy. Frequented by supermodels, top movie stars and royalty, even Nicole Kidman might have dropped into my clothes shop in St Moritz ... now there's a thought!Loughborough must be famous for my hair salon, although I will admit, despite passing it every day to get to the train station when I worked in the town, I never went inside. Looked like the sort of place that didn't sweep between customers, know what I mean? |
Other Bernard AllensMy favourite Bernard works and teaches at West Dean House, which is just around the corner from our family home - how weird is that?!! He is a self-employed designer-craftsman, producing traditional and modern furniture, screens, architectural and ecclesiastical commissions, and small turned items. He built the library at West Dean College. Sadly, I can't find a picture , but here's an artist's impression of how he might look...Bernard Allen is also the Fine Gael TD for Cork North Central, after being re-elected to the Dáil in May 2002.
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